It's not always easy to be obedient when you know that God is calling you to do something. In fact, it's can cause a tremendous amount of anxiety when you fight it!! It's been an inner battle raging inside of me of "Do I go, do I not go?" Mission Trip to Kenya...the words alone struck fear into my heart.
I pretty much came up with a thousands reasons and pleas why I should NOT go...like:
~"What if it's too dangerous for a skinny little white girl like me?" OR
~"What will I eat?!" (...I highly doubt that mashed potatoes, garlic bread, and fried chicken are on the daily menu in Kenya.)
~What happens if I get food poisoning and the only place to use the bathroom is a hole in the floor...or (GASP) the woods?!"
~How can I fly alone when I'm only just getting over my terror of flying? Or what if someone slips drugs into my backpack (ever seen Brokedown Palace? Yeah...exactly.)
~I won't know ANYBODY. Talk about awkward silences...
~ How will I get through when I know I will just miss AJ way too much? Will I be able to call him? Contact him? How will I sleep at night? What if something happens to him while I am away? =(
And one of the biggest worries??
"How in the world are we going to pay for all of this?!" With me in school full-time, AJ working his butt off just to help us 'get by' - how will this trip even be possible?
Fearful, worry-wart, un-trusting, anxious, stressed, spoiled freak-out Queen - does not even begin to sum it up.
Making the decision was initially difficult. But THEN...everything changed. AJ could go! AJ was willing to go! My love, my partner, my hubby was willing to come and share this incredible calling, this journey and adventure for our lives. Wow! God is soooo good, isn't He? And then as I began to process this whole thing, the other worries have just sort of started to drift away, and they just didn't seem to matter as much - and it turned into just needing to trust God, that He is good, that He is just, and faithful, that He has a plan and purpose for our lives and will use us even in the stickiest of situations. That I can rely on Him. And in Him I can put my trust.
I'm excited to partner with God on this. I'm excited to see where He is going to take us, how He is going to transform our lives, how our perspectives will shift, how He will use us to reach others. I'm excited to be obedient to his call - and to see how faithful that He really is. Remembering to take every thought captive and make it obedient to Christ, for He has not given me a spirit of fear - and I refuse to be ruled by it! The more opposition... - the more I will be encouraged, taking it as confirmation that we are truly supposed to be there and that something amazing is in the works!
"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight."
~Proverbs 3:5
So Welcome to our Blog!
Come alongside us in this journey, and be encouraged as you see God's work through it all - it's going to be a wild ride!
Come alongside us in this journey, and be encouraged as you see God's work through it all - it's going to be a wild ride!
