God never ceases to amaze me. He really doesn't. Every time a 'God-moment' happens, and I know it's purely His hand in the pot that is providing for anything related to this trip; I can't help but sit back in awe and utter thankfulness. He knows our needs before we even have them - and even the ones that seem insignificant, and not a need at all, but merely a desire; He still loves to bless us in those areas!
I have always grown up thinking that if it's just a 'want' and not a 'need', that I was #1 - selfish for even praying and asking God, and #2 - not going to get it because it isn't essential to my survival. Food...clothing...shelter...would (perhaps arguably) be 'needs.' A computer? A camera lens? A book? Obviously these fall under 'wants.' But what happens when God challenges you and demonstrates that He is just as interested in your desires and wants, than He is in your needs? That He cares about the minor details in your life - making Him so much more personal than the really big 'impersonal-too-busy-to-hear-me God.' He has been teaching me, specifically over the past two years, what it really means to trust Him with everything. Financially...that was tough at first. But I have to say that it is so freeing to know that I can trust Him in that area, that He is ultimately the one in control, and by bringing it before Him and trusting Him in our finances,… well He just really honors and blesses that.
But my desires? One of the more memorable instances where He provided for a desire of mine was within this past year.
I was taking a class that I really needed a laptop for. Well, I guess I shouldn’t say needed, but basically it would have just made life so much easier in that class! I was beginning to have trouble sitting at my computer for long periods of time to do homework, that I really just wanted to finally get one so that I could sit on the couch, comfortably, for the long hours that I would typically end up spending to do homework. But, as it were, we simply could not afford to get a laptop. So I started praying. The only person that even knew of my possible interest, was AJ, but even he didn’t know how much I really wanted or needed it at this time. He knew that in the past I have always griped about laptops, and so I think his idea of me and a laptop, were not exactly a good match. So yes, I started praying. But when I say I started praying, I mean I was ridiculously specific in what I wanted for this laptop. My first prayer was that if I wasn’t going to use it to glorify God, and would become addicted to using it (I had just canceled Facebook shortly before this time – so the temptation to restart it was still pretty fresh), that if it didn’t glorify Him – then I didn’t want it. Then I began praying for what I wanted on this laptop. I knew I needed Microsoft office, obviously internet access, a MOUSE …as I hate that little pad, and my even more specific request? I wanted keys that were separated – like on a normal keyboard. I hate laptop keys how they are so close together, that every time you try to push one letter – you can’t help but push three! I had never seen a laptop with remotely separated keys before, so I didn’t even know if it was possible. I can’t remember right now, but I’m pretty sure I had some other specifications for it as well.
Matthew 6:6 says “But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your father, who is unseen. Then your father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.” So that’s what I did. It was a prayer just between me and God. Then one night, I believe it was the following week, AJ received a call. My SIL had an early birthday present for me (one MONTH early!). When we got to her apartment, she handed me my very own laptop! And get this; all those things I had prayed about - all those specifics – oh yeah, God fulfilled each one of those requests!! I couldn’t believe it. I was just in shock and awe. When I asked her what made her decide to give this to me, let alone early, she responded that she didn’t know. But I knew. I knew that God had used her to bless me, and I was completely blown away.
So today I am reminded of God’s goodness. In my quest for a good book to offer AJ to read on our 2-day travel to Africa (as he really is not a fan of reading), my sister, Michelle, and I came across a great one! It’s titled Sam Maloof: Woodworker. Unfortunately, the book costs roughly $30…at its cheapest. Way too steep for us to spend on a book. So I began looking around. Neither WCU or the Chester County Library system had the book, so I explored doing an inter-library loan. Basically Chester County Library would go outside of their own system and try and track it down at another library, and hopefully, God willing, it would come in time so that we could just borrow it for free. So I sent out a request for prayer to my amazing ladies in my bible study group. Needless to say, I had one come forward and offer to help me get the book using her teacher’s discount at the Barnes. And then today, I find out that another, feeling led by the Lord, decided to send me the money to purchase the book in the mail for AJ! Now mind you, when I sent the e-mail, I was very careful not to put the title of the book in there. I did make the mistake of putting the amount, but now I know that God probably orchestrated that mistake for this very reason!
So the point of all this is that God used those situations, and many more over the past few years, to teach me something. He wanted to teach me that He cares about the pleasures and desires of our heart. That no detail is too small or insignificant for him. That He longs to bless us, that if only we would turn to Him about everything on our hearts, that He is always there. He never leaves, nor forsakes us. He isn’t some big 'impersonal-too-busy-to-hear-me God,’…he’s a personal, loving and caring God, who has numbered the hairs on our very heads – and that wants desperately for us to allow Him to be a part of the details in our lives,…if only we would let him.
“If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!” ~ Matthew 7:11
