The End,...or is it?

FINALLY!! I am finally done with all the pictures and videos! Yay!  I posted new, random pictures throughout almost each blog entry from when we arrived in Kitale, to when we got home.  So make sure you check each post to get the updated photographs! 

I hope you have enjoyed going through this documented journey of pictures/videos/feelings/emotions/good/bad/ugly/and the in between times with AJ & I.  I pray that God moves your hearts beyond empathy, but to action in the lives of some of these Kenyan people. Whether it be through prayer, financially, or even just purchasing some of the items (hey, they make great Christmas presents) of what the Neema & Shimo girls made; know that every little bit counts, and it matters.  When I know of these items going on sale, I will make sure to post the information on this blog as I find out.  In the meantime, you can visit Faith Wise's Etsy Shop, Mosaic Designs, and check out what she already has for sale that help to directly benefit the Neema and Shimo Girls.  You can also visit our Team Facebook Page to see the full albums of the pictures from our trip.


Early in August Providence had some of the Kenya team speak about their time, as well as showing a short video.  Here is the YouTube video (click on it to play)

Also, here are a few team pictures:

The whole team and nothing but the team!

The amazing construction crew!

Some of the girls

This trip led me to experience a plethora of emotions; it was nothing short of an emotional roller coaster.  I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God is doing a work in my heart, even though I'm not sure of what that is yet.  All I know is that this is not the end.  It is merely the beginning of God's Journey into the Heart of Me.


In Christ,
Tina <3


Click on the Links to visit each site:

ProvinKenya Facebook page
ProvinKenya Team Blog
Mosaic Designs Etsy Shop
Mosaic Designs Blog
Transformed International

AND if you want to see how the school comes along in the next weeks and months, you can visit Adam's Blog where he gives weekly updates and pictures.  So far they have gotten quite a bit done since we left!!

Adam's Blog

Photographs & Conclusions.

My intention was to get all of my photos up on the 'Providence KenyaTeam' Facebook page.  While I did get most of them, there are still about 200 lingering on my computer that I have just been kicking my feet about.  After sifting through so many photographs in the few days when we first returned from Africa, I about had it looking at pictures!!  Soooo...my goal is to finish them THIS week and post the rest of the favorites throughout this blog, and onto the FB page.  So my apologies for the delay!  Most of them are up though, so feel free to peruse this blog (where my favorites are posted), or spend hours upon hours looking at the large number of Pix posted on the FB page!

I will likely put one more blog post on this page after this; once I actually finish going through all of those remaining photos.  Then,..I will officially leave this blog to rest.  But first, a few final concluding things:

I think a lot about Stella.  I think a lot about the kids I met and played with both at the Veronica Home and In-Step Orphanage.  I won't lie, I really miss them.  While I miss so many that we met there, the kids really hold a special place in my heart.  Part of me is so very happy to be home, and yet the other part feels torn with wanting to also be with them,...though selfishly wishing they were here instead of there.  I still struggle with the idea of what I should be doing differently since we've gotten back.  As I fall back into the normal, fast-paced routines of our life, it's easy to push aside these thoughts over the details of the 'everyday' that have consumed me over these past few weeks.  I know small areas I can change, but somehow, finding the time to do them isn't always easy.  Why does life have to move so quickly here? While it's true that I function better at the fast-pace of life here, I do, however, miss the slow-pace of life found in Kitale.  With this fast-paced lifestyle come so many anxieties in each day.  Anxieties that I wish didn't exist at all. 

This past month has been a challenging month for me. It pushed the edges of my comfort zone into new levels, while also having my spiritual life challenged.  To be completely honest, my prayer life has not been as fulfilling as I half expected it might be after a trip like this.  I found myself getting so angry at the Lord for allowing me to get sick (for practically the entire time we were in Kenya), I couldn't understand why he would be so obvious in making sure and wanting us to be there,... if that was going to be the outcome.  In my mind, I know He is always good, and has a purpose for everything; even when I don't know what it is.  But in my heart, I was angry, confused, and even felt a little on the bitter side because of the circumstances.  Another thing that was difficult, while also being something I had been praying about for months prior to the trip, was coming home and feeling as if I made life-long friendships and connections with the team we went with.  But honestly?  I felt as if my being sick and not feeling like myself, or even at my best, made it difficult for me to connect with others.  There were a few people that I was definitely closer with, but I can't help but wonder if those relationships will really even cultivate into anything since we've returned.  I thought I had no expectations going into this trip, but I found when I got home that it wasn't true, that I in fact had more expectations than I thought.  And naturally, expectations always bring disappointments.  

I know it may sound like I am doing a lot of complaining, and I probably am.  But this is how I felt, and this was why I was struggling with the Lord over this period of time in my life.  It's as if my heart was not following what my head really knew; God's truths.  Though, I am happy to say that God and I are getting better and growing closer again.  He's helping me to understand some things, while revealing things about myself...though sometimes painful.  I walk away from this trip with a new pair of eyes, and a heart that breaks for those that break the Lords.  I crave to be able to finish school and bring in an income that will allow me to support some of these children that I miss, and I crave to one day maybe even see them again this side of Heaven.  I crave life-long christian friendships that can pray for me, with me, and be vulnerable with me...and I know that it won't be in my time, but in God's.  I trust that God knows what He is doing, that He is in control, and that He works all things out for good.  

As I sit here and ponder all of these things, I am reminded of Laura Story's song, titled Blessings:

We pray for blessings, we pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering

All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops?
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near?

What if trials of this life
Are Your mercies in disguise?

We pray for wisdom, Your voice to hear
We cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough

And all the while You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears?
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near?

And what if trials of this life
Are Your mercies in disguise

When friends betray us, when darkness seems to win
We know the pain reminds this heart
That this is not, this is not our home
It's not our home

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears?
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near?

What if my greatest disappointments
Or the achings of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst
This world can’t satisfy?

And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are Your mercies in disguise?

Beautiful,... and so perfectly speaks to my heart at this time.
       

Home Sweet Home!!

After two very, very long days of traveling, we are finally home!  My best friend, Amanda, who has been watching our apartment left nice surprises for us everywhere...ahem, Amanda!!  She so nicely plastered tampons, pads, and 'Caution' tape everywhere, as well as placing her and her boyfriend's pictures taped over top of AJ and my pictures! Lol!  (paybacks will be a'coming!)  Other than that, my MIL was so sweet!  She stocked our fridge and counter with all kinds of foods and drinks so we wouldn't come home to nothing to eat.  She even went as far as cooking us food so that we wouldn't have to cook and could eat that when we got home; it was so awesome - what a GREAT way to come home!!  

So now I have to back up and give a run-down of the last few days.  On Sunday morning, we left bright and early to begin our long bus ride back to Nairobi.  We checked into our hotel, grabbed a shower in HOT water (which was glorious!), and then headed off to dinner.  We had a really nice dinner at this restaurant, which if I remember correctly, was called Trattoria.  AJ got some sort of Italian Salmon pasta dinner, and I got an individual pizza with prosciutto on top.  It was so yummy and so welcome from the rice, potatoes and cabbage we were used to.  When we were on our way to the restaurant though, it was one of the first times that I've seen young kids come up to us begging for shillings.  Even on the way, I saw this mother sleeping on the sidewalk with her very young baby sleeping next to her.  It was so sad, and so different than what I'm used to seeing here at home.  Because we don't live in the city, it's not too often you see someone who is homeless, let alone women and children, or babies for that matter.  

Here is a quick 1 minute clip of some of the things we would see on the drive from Kitale to Nairobi:

 After dinner we went back to the hotel to get a good night of sleep.  Early the next morning, we met before 7 to get ready to go on our Safari at the Nairobi National Park.  According to their website, "the 117 km2 Nairobi National Park is unique by being the only protected area in the world with a variety of animals and birds close to a major city."  The safari was pretty awesome.  Apparently it's pretty hit or miss as far as whether or not you will see many animals, so I made sure to write down what we did see.  While we didn't see any lions like you might expect, we did see Zebra, wilderbeasts, water buffalo, antelope, giraffes, gazelle, eagles, peacocks, ostriches, Impala, goats, baboons, a secretary bird, a corvasta bird (sp?), and one Rhino.  However, as we were looking at the Rhino on the one side of our vehicle, we heard a lot of commotion on the other side, maybe a few hundred feet away, along the side where the park bordered the city.  When we looked over we were surprised to find two groups of Kenyan men going after each other with sticks and machetes.  It was believed by our driver that they were likely fighting over a piece of land,...but still....machetes? Really?  While you might think that would be a bit on the scary side, especially being so close to us, I think I was more or less in shock that we were even seeing anything like this at all.  Thankfully it didn't appear as if anyone really got hurt, and you could see a few policeman heading the men's way to possibly break it up.  The groups then separated and we finished up our safari before heading to the airport.

Here are some pictures from the Safari:

This reminds me of an old Pink Floyd Poster from the 90's!!

Family Zebra Butt; Mama & Baby.

Random Castle in the middle of the Safari. Weird. But Cool.

Not the best pic - but these are some of the men involved in the fight.  They either had sticks or machetes.  In this picture, you can only see one machete (the 3rd guy from the left side).

Love Love Love!

Steph managed to catch me taking pictures on the Safari =)

Our flights were fairly long and uneventful.  I managed to get a few hours of sleep on the 13 hour flight, while poor AJ really couldn't sleep at all.  Sitting anywhere for as long as our team had been, nothing at that point is comfortable.  You just ache to stretch out your body and walk around.  When we arrived at JFK, we grabbed our luggage, headed to our shuttle bus, and then went back to Providence, eventually dispersing to our homes. 

It's so nice to be back home.  It's actually easier for me, being home, to really sit and process some of the things from the past two weeks.  I was glad to learn more about the organizations there, and the authenticity of the ones that we met and worked with.  I was disappointed to find out how the corrupt the government and churches/pastors are there, but glad that I now know.  It makes me question where my money goes all the more when I give to things like this.  Now, I'm happy to say that when I will give in the future, I know of a few honest places that will use the funds appropriately to best help the people there.  I also realize how much of a need there is for medication (that won't be kept by the doctors and pharmacies - or overpriced that no one can afford them), and for education.  The basic need for many of the Kenyans in Kitale is survival.  Without a means to provide for their family, that makes all of these things unavailable to them.  One of the things that I loved about TI is that they were helping the Shimo and Neema girls to learn trades that would give them the ability to provide for their families, as well as educating them.  With these skills, the girls can now go off, start their own businesses (which most of them talked about their dream of becoming a 'businesswoman!'), thus providing for their families - but also giving them a sense of self-worth.  It will take some time, but these girls are fast learners!  If you go to provinkenya.blogspot.com - I believe Faith will be posting some information on each one of the girls at some point - so you can get a better idea of who they are.

In the meantime, I am sifting through the 1500 or so pictures that I took on this trip.  As I go through them, I will be adding them to this blog in the previous blog posts - so you may need to scroll back through from the beginning to see some of them.  Or, if you have Facebook, you can also search for 'Providence KenyaTeam', and look through everyone's pictures on there.  I'm pretty sure we are all going to be posting like madmen to this page over the next week, so be patient as the pictures will likely come in waves.

Again, thank you all for your prayers and support through all of this!  Now,...back to the pictures! Am going back to the first blog post now when we arrived to add the pictures from the bus ride from Nairobi to Kitale when we first arrived.  xoxo

Last day...

Our last day is officially coming to a close.  We still have a few days of travel left, but this will be our last night in Kitale.

We began the morning by going over to the Veronica Home until shortly after lunch.  You could tell that some of the team was starting to distance themselves somewhat from the children as we knew we would have to say goodbye, some for the last time.  It's so hard to answer a child when they ask if they will see you again, if you will come back,...and you simply do not know.  There were many tearful goodbyes as we started to load up the taxis to head back to the TI compound.  I hugged Stella many times before actually getting in the cab, but as I sat there, unable to operate my broken window to say goodbye for the hundredth time, I quickly opened the door to give her and another child just one last hug before we pulled away.  I think I put up a wall at that time, because no tears came, but I could feel my heart break just a little as I imagined this could be the last time that I may see her precious face.  I wish I could explain the pull at your heart when you encounter these kids with literally nothing,...and yet see how much joy and love that they have for you.  You can't help but be moved and changed by it.

Here are some photos from our day at the Veronica Home:

The progress made on the school so far by the end of the week...

I don't know what will happen when we get home.  I don't know whether I will go on with my life being complacent, or whether I will become more proactive and intentional about the suffering and caring of people. There was some talk this evening about what we will do now; what will happen when we get home.  One of the things I know I will try to do more of is to acknowledge people everywhere.  Instead of hanging my head down low and avoiding conversations, or people in general - I know that I want to step out of my comfortable shell and learn how to love in the biblical way that God calls us to; remembering that love is first a choice, not necessarily a feeling.  It will be a challenge, but it's a small step that isn't too overwhelming to push me away.


We also had to say goodbye to the Neema girls today.  We already said goodbye to the Shimo girls yesterday, but as I'm sure you can guess - more tears flowed from the team and the girls as we prepared for the Neema girls to leave this afternoon.  Before they left however, some murderous activities took place!  Many of the team members slaughtered chickens.  I decided to stay inside, but immediately regretted not putting on my headphones and listening to music as I began to hear shrieks and laughter coming from the team as they were killing the chickens.  I know it sounds crazy,...because I eat chicken and all, ...but honestly if I could be a vegetarian, I would!  It just so happens that I like meat too much, and vegetables too little!  Irregardless, it was still all pretty disturbing.  Thankfully AJ did not kill, nor watch this take place - he had a headache today so he was laying down during that time.  And, naturally, I did not eat the chicken either.  Just couldn't get that image out of my mind, so glorious pop-tart dinner for me it was.


I'm filled with so many emotions that I can't really process this trip and what I have seen or experienced.  So much of it just feels so surreal, and yet I know that as we journey home, and when we get home, things will rise to the surface begging to be dealt with.  There are no words that can bring a full reality to what life is like here.  I hear so many people say that you really need to experience it firsthand to understand; and they would be right.  I think it's easier for us, as Americans, to ignore or pretend that certain things don't happen in our world, and so we stay in our own little bubble of comfort and do not dare leave in fear that we may feel guilty or moved to do something; to essentially act on the injustices facing so many people in our world.


I'm going to go for now.  I will update on our travel, safari, and pictures when we get home.  Until then, we love you all and thank you so much for your support and prayers that made this possible for both of us.  Please continue to keep us in your prayers as we embark on our 2-day journey home. xoxo

PS - HAPPY BIRTHDAY CARRIE!!  =) 

TGIF!!

The countdown to the Chicken slaughter is just beginning.  I'm soooo not excited for this!  I wonder if it would be wrong to,...I don't know,...set them free? I suppose that may anger a few of the people here.  BUT it is certainly tempting!!  I still am not sure whether AJ has decided what he is going to do yet, if he will kill a chicken or not.  I think he's worried I will look at him different if he does,...but secretly I don't think he wants to. =)

Today AJ went to do construction again at the Veronica home building the school.  It sounds like the guys are getting pretty far on this.  Apparently though they plan on building dormitories as well, but unfortunately the money for that does not exist yet.  I think our plan is to give whatever money we have remaining tomorrow from all of your support to go towards that project.  There is so much need here, it's heartbreaking.  If the Lord happens to speak to your heart concerning anything happening over here that you may be reading in this blog, or the www.provinkenya.blogspot.com - that you may want to help support, then feel free to contact us by e-mail (clrewkowski@yahoo.com) and we can certainly talk about it or help guide you along the way of what you could do.

I decided to go back to the In-Step baby orphanage today.  I just love being around all the kids and spending time with them.  At one point I was outside of the baby house (a small room outside that holds a lot of the babies during the day for feeding and napping), and there was this little boy sitting in a chair that was holding his head in place and strapping him in.  His name is Anthony and he has cerebral palsy.  No one was really paying much attention to him, and so I couldn't help but just sit down in front of him to talk and play with him for a little while.  He loved to get his feet tickled and massaged, so he would start giggling and smiling every time I touched them.  Surprisingly his little tootsies were really cold when I touched them.  It gets pretty cold in the morning and evenings here, but this was the mid-afternoon where the hot sun really beats down on you.

Here are some pictures I took at In Step:

Uh Oh!

Look at those cheeks!!

This is sweet Anthony. =)

This adorable little boy has mental retardation.

After In-Step we came back to the compound to spend time with the Neema and Shimo girls.  They were still doing their work, but the Shimo girls brought their children with them today.  They were adorable! At first they seemed pretty frightened by all the white people, but eventually they really warmed up to us.

Here are some pics taken when we got back from In Step:

The team help the girls to make tye-dye shirts.

This is Janet - she is one of the ones who cooks for the girls everyday. 

This is Joanne - also one of the chefs for the girls.  I think I heard that she is a retired school teacher as well.  Needless to say, she is a RIOT! She loves to 'model' for the camera!

When the girls left we had a big BBQ outside.  In fact,...it's still going right now!  Erik (one of the Kenyan guys that work for TI) was grilling/roasting steak, goat, and pork.  We had salad with Ashley's delicious home-made croutons, pasta salad, roasted potatoes, cooked cabbage, chips that tasted like Doritos, and Ashley's homemade chocolate chip cookies - which were so yummy!!  It was great to have the comfort food that we would likely eat at home and take a break from all the potatoes, rice, cooked cabbage and beans.  I have to admit...I don't think I can take another bite of that food while I am here!

Tomorrow is our last day, and on Sunday we will head back to Nairobi.  The plan is to leave in the morning, arrive in Nairobi around dinnertime, stay the night in Nairobi, take a morning safari first thing Monday morning, get on our plane later in the afternoon, and arrive at the JFK airport by Tuesday morning, by noon - back to the church.  If I can, I will update tomorrow night before we leave.  Aside from the chicken murders happening here tomorrow...ahem...we will be going to spend the afternoon at the Veronica Home.  I'm so excited to see my Stella and Lina tomorrow!!  Till then....Goodnight! =)

PS. Sorry for all my spelling/grammatical errors in these blogs - I don't read over them before posting!  I know, I know...very unlike me! Gotta go now, going to go watch AJ play volleyball. =)  xoxo